everything hurts and I'm dying

A Parks and Recreation tribute because the show ended months ago and I binged watched it for the second time two weekends ago and I'm still mourning.
"Everything hurts and I'm dying" is the slogan of my first time soul cycling.
What is soul cycling you may ask?
Soul Cycling is the newest craze in working out, like yoga, pilates, CrossFit, Insanity etc. It's a cycling working out session, where you pedal for 45 minutes straight listening to pump-up dub step and a workout instructor motivating you, and doing push-ups, weights, dancing and moving up and down all while cycling for 45 minutes straight.
To tell you my experience and how I felt the entire 45 minutes, I will show it through GIFs of my favorite television shows:
The Mindy Project
Parks & Recreation
30 Rock
Broad City
Key & Peele 
and featuring
The Walking Dead
Easy A

*Also note I was hungover while doing this, so...keep that in mind


THOUGHTS I HAD WHILE SOUL CYCLING FOR THE FIRST TIME

When my sister told me she was taking me to Soul Cycle in the Castro district of San Francisco the day after we were going on a family bar crawl.

Arriving to Soul Cycle Sunday morning at 10 a.m. after a family bar crawl in the sunny Castro district.

I am pumped and ready. My adrenaline is rushing, I've been drinking water since I woke up and I'm ready to conquer SoulCycling. My hangover is not that bad and I feel like I can do this.

And then I see the previous class step out...

What did I just get myself into?

I step in and look around. It's a dark room with candles and loud music. The instructor welcomes us in with a motivational positive voice. The music is going and I can barely hear a thing.

I tell myself 'It's okay, it won't be that bad. It's just like going to the gym and watching an entire episode of Cupcake Wars. This class is just one full episode of Cupcake Wars'. 

Except it's not and I can feel the breakfast sandwich I had an hour before this and I deeply regret having a few drinks and two slices of clam and garlic pizza from Golden Boy last night.

I step on the bike and pedal to warm up. So far, so good. Until the instructor starts the class. She begins to ask "Be honest, who had a few adult drinks last night?" Several people raise their hand, I don't. I'm too shameful of my hung-over-ness, but I can tell she knew- instructors/teachers always know if you're lying.

Then the music starts. A dub-step version of Sam Smith. His godly voice soothes me as I'm pedaling. The instructor then tells us to bike to the beat of the music and turn our dial up until we feel like we are pedaling up a hill. 

I ignored all those around me and just blanked out and found myself biking to the beat of dub-step Sam Smith. I focused on solely his beautiful voice and only that for about five minutes. 

The instructor motivates us, shouting "You can do it!" "Let the drinks from last night flow out of your body!" "Let your feelings lift up from you and focus!" "Find your inner-inspiration!" "Who is your motivation in life?"

The music keeps pumping. Dub-step is ringing in my ears and my legs are starting to go numb. I can't stop cycling. And then the instructor tells us to do push-ups...

I'm pushing up-and-down, up-and-down, still cycling. My legs are numb. My face is sweating and my arms are starting to hurt. 

The instructor then says to move your body up and down while still pedaling.

I can't stop sweating. The room feels like it's getting closed in. My ears are ringing and my legs are completely numb.

The instructor then says to do more push-ups....

I do the last set as best as I can. I stop for a few minutes to wipe the sweat off of my face. 

Did you know that you can sweat from your eyes? Like sweat ducts come out along with the makeup I had from the night before.

It's the last stretch, a few more push-ups and then I'm almost done. I can do this!

The class is coming to an end. I can feel it. The instructor then has us do weights while cycling and it's surprisingly easily. 

I got this. I got this in the bag. I will defeat Soul Cycling!

The 45 minutes are up. The class is over. 

The instructor opens the door and a small breath of fresh air hits me. I waddle up to the bathroom to change and look in the mirror. My face is covered in sweat. Everything is sweat.

I take a shower, enjoying the feeling of water all over me. It's the greatest feeling ever.

And then I enjoy the greatest brunch of all in Bernal Heights District in San Francisco and completely eat up all the calories I burned off in the 45 minutes.

The Front Porch
Cornmeal and Bacon Waffle with Fried Chicken paired with a mimosa and an iced latte.
Yes I can't tolerate dairy anymore but as I told my sister's boyfriend. After that 45 minute workout killed me, I don't think a small dose of regular milk will.

I did it. I conquered the newest work out craze. I survived the SoulCycle.

And the next day, I felt like this:

self-date

In this blog post, I bring you this special of
How to take yourself out on a date and not look like a loner- By Estibaliz Romeo

My freshman year of college, I wouldn't be caught dead sitting alone at a Starbucks table reading a book or even just on my phone. I judged those people who did and if I was alone, I would grab my coffee and go straight home, to my bed watching TV, where no one would judge me.
My sophomore year, karma kicked me in the butt for judging those people and I gave up that fear and would hang in the school cafe with my "homework" (really I was procrastinating on Facebook) and did not care if people judged me (karma probably kicked them in the butt too). When I was abroad in Sweden, I had mastered the art of taking myself out on a date. When I had an essay to write, I would go to the nearest cafe, and when I needed to blog about my latest travel adventure, I go to the nearest cafe. I felt like a young international hipster when I went to cafes alone, wrote on my blog and had my panini and latte with me.
Ugh, all the hipsters would be proud.
I didn't feel like a loner and I didn't feel like eyes were watching me everywhere. I was at peace with my latte, my iPhone and laptop procrastinating/blogging away.
Now being a pre-adult with no essays, no assignments, travel blogs or boyfriend, solo-dates are what keep me sane in my hometown for now. Just like this Sunday when I ventured out to the downtown area and had a solo-date paired with a book.
I put on my best outfit, grabbed the book I was currently reading Live from New York, It's Saturday Night and large book of mini-memoirs from the writers, producers, and cast members of Saturday Night Live and drove to Walnut Creek to enjoy a cup of iced coffee to The Coffee Shop.
That's the name, The Coffee Shop. Amusing and confusing and entertain when telling someone "I'm at The Coffee Shop".
I bet the owners called it that out of amusement, if not then I'm quite disappointed. But not disappointed in their coffee and atmosphere.
Wooden tables and black chairs- the environment is the definition of modern coffee shops you see in the movies. I ordered a coffee past time favorite, Stumptown Coffee, a ode to my week in Portland, OR freshman year with a dab of soy milk, sat myself on a stool facing the window and read/people watched.

It was heaven in a mason jar.

2 hours past by and 100 pages into the book and I was ready to leave. As much as I loved this coffee shop and the music it had, my butt was starting to hurt from sitting in the stool for so long, so I decided to migrate. A part of me wanted to go to another coffee shop and then the idea of coffee hopping all around downtown Walnut Creek seemed like an enjoyable idea, I was totally into the idea until I realized that coffee with no food is a bad idea and driving back home with several cups of coffee in me would have been a danger to me and all the drivers within the Walnut Creek/Concord area.

It was safe to have just one cup of coffee and have some food in my stomach. Thus leading me to one of my new favorite farm-to-table places as mentioned previously in this blog, Main Street Kitchen.

With no detox in me and having the freedom to eat what I want and not feel guilty, I ordered a hamburger and an iced latte.

Okay, now let's stop for a moment.

Remember in How I Met Your Mother, when Marshall was on the hunt for the perfect burger all around New York reminiscing about the first time in New York, meeting this hamburger and still remembering it eight years later? The whole crew went to several hamburger places only eating one bite of a burger at each place searching with nostalgia for this perfect hamburger. It took the entire episode to find the place and when they did it was pure magic and love at first bite. 

Since watching that episode, I have longed to experience a hamburger like Marshall, to feel what it is like to physically fall in love with a hamburger and remember it eight years later. I asked my friends around me to start our own hunt for the perfect hamburger and they've agreed but our college student bank accounts had always stopped us from searching. But the want to find the perfect hamburger still longed in my stomach and in my mind. And on this day, sometime in July, I did it. I met and ate the perfect hamburger and it was in my neighboring hometown the whole time, it was just waiting for me to come and find it.

The hamburger at Main Street Kitchen was the hamburger to the Marshall Erikson, minus the photo of Regis Philbin hanging in the corner.

The place was small but held several people, the tables were plain and white and the cutlery was wrapped in blue cloth napkins being held in a ceramic mug resembling an old-fashioned water jug. I was presented with the menu and my eyes fell straight to the hamburger. A simple hamburger with cheese made with grass fed organic ground beef with caramelized onions and carefully placed on the side, resting peacefully, are tomatoes, lettuce and pickles. When my order came, I put tomatoes, lettuce and pickles (I hate pickles) and savored my first bite and I swore angelic music was playing after that first bite. Either that or the music in the cafe was playing angelic music...I'm not sure but the point of this sentence is that the hamburger was incredible.

The softness of the bun with the tender juicy-ness of the hamburger and how the bun soaked up some of the juices was mouthwatering. The surprise taste of the tomato, ketchup, mustard and the cheese just put me in a euphoric state. I completely forgot where I was for a moment until the waitress came to my table and asked how everything was and I answered back with a mouthful of hamburger

"Os Gewd"

And gewd it was. I ate all the hamburger pickles and all, cleaned out the french fries and polished off the iced latte and laid back and waited for the check. My stomach was satisfied and my heart was thumping with glee (or with grease but mostly glee).

It was the hamburger I had always dreamed of meeting and I met it. I wanted to scream about his hamburger to the citizens of Walnut Creek like Monica screamed her engagement in F-R-I-E-N-D-S. I wanted to create a television show about the hunt to find the hamburger, like The Bachelorette  but instead of finding the perfect hot man, I'm finding the hamburger with the hottest buns. 

Instead, I posted a picture of it on Instagram and proclaimed my love through hashtags.

The hamburger of all hamburgers. The current love and winner of the Hamburger Bachelorette.

Isn't it beautiful?

Things I've learned

Before I move on to the next recipe I'm behind on, I'd just though I would share a few things to you about life after college.
I have mentioned it many, many, many, times on this blog that I was ending my academic career and was terrified to no end that my youthful life would soon come to an end and my adult life would begin.
I was so not ready to be an adult and start my adult life. It's been over a month since I have ended my academic career and I'm still not ready. Yes, I have a job that pays which helps me save my money and get me out of the house. I contribute to gas as I am now driving my mom's car and occasionally pay for dinner when we go out and pay for coffee, but I'm still not ready.
I'm not sure if other adults are ready to and they are out there pretending they're ready to look professional and fine but deep down, they're not ready.
Is anyone ever ready to be an adult?
I've yet to find out.
In the meantime, during the month and a half that I was unemployed and then employed here are the things that I have learned as a pre-adult:

Pre-Adult Lesson #1
 You have time to read. Like read for fun. You can read all sorts of books and not feel guilty that you should be ready your Communications reader because you have a quiz the next day. You can actually read books that YOU want to read, not your professor and it's a book that is interesting and doesn't have you falling asleep halfway in.
LIKE A FREE FOR ALL BOOK.
But let's hold for a second and let me explain what I mean by books. When I say books, I mean like actual books, like the olden times when one came in hardcover or paperback and the pages were made out of paper and you had to turn the pages to find out more about the plot and characters giving you hand a semi-workout. A book like you open a page and could smell the dust and experience the sensation of "new book smell" like a new car smell but better and older.
LIKE A REAL FRICKIN BOOK. None of this Kindle/nook/ebook shit. A real book, kids a real book.
I didn't realize this obsession when I went to Target to look for a birthday gift for my two-year-old cousin. I saw Lena Dunham's book Not that Kind of Girl and realized I had to have that book now, because I didn't read it and had incredible FOMO.
I bought it and the woman at target said I looked like Lena Dunham herself, I was honored.
That was book #1.
Book #2 and #3 happened in Barnes & Noble when my mom was looking for a book for my cousin and told me I could roam around. I went straight to the autobiography section, climbed up on the stool and grabbed the last copy of Yes, Please by Amy Poehler, because like Dunham, I was having bad FOMO of not reading it. On the way to buying it, I saw a copy of Bossypants by Tina Fey and realized that my original copy was lost during my year abroad and I needed another one to complete my collection. I NEEDED a copy of Bossypants, it was necessary.
Total number of books Friday night: 3
I finished Amy Poehler's book in a day and then the next day finished Dunham's book in a day as well. I have read Fey's book when I had my original copy, like 20 times but if I read it again, I could finish it in a day. I pretty much binge read books like I binge watch Netflix. It's pretty bad but good at the same time.
Then came Tuesday when I was on Amazon, looking for a portable charger for my iPhone. I was only supposed to get a portable charger but then ended up getting two more books, Born Standing Up by Steve Martin and Bedwetter by Sarah Silverman.
In my defense, the Steve Martin book was $10 and Sarah Silverman's book was $7 so it came down to less than $20 for both books...so yeah it was a pretty good deal.
Books #4 and #5 were bought and ordered but won't come in until July 8th.
I can't wait until July 8th, I needed to read more. I needed more books. I WANT TO BUY ALL THE BOOKS.
And then came Wednesday. I had left work and was on my way to pick up my mom, and took a short cut to prevent hitting traffic, and by traffic I mean all the slow drivers that go 15 at a 25 mph road.
I took the turn to pass by downtown on my way to my mom's work and somehow SOMEHOW I ended up parking right in front of the used book store, SOMEHOW. I don't remember how or why I did but I did. I had no control over my driving....okay well I did, but I still SOMEHOW managed to go to the bookstore and not to my mom's work.
I walked in and bought two more books under $20 of course
Live from New York it's Saturday Night a 500 page book consisting of mini-memoirs from the creators, writers, producers and cast members of SNL.
I like You By Amy Sedaris, Hospitality under the influence- This woman is a comedic genius and skimming through, it's filled with laughter and food, both my passions in one book.
If trying to be like Julia Child doesn't work out, I could be Amy Sedaris but with brown hair.
I left the store, put my books in my large purse and headed to my mom's work with ten minutes to spare. I began ready the book and the moment my mom came to the car, I jumped threw my book on the ground and ran to the passenger seat before she could see the new book.
It was like I was hiding drugs from my mother, but instead of drugs, it was books.
I am a literal definition of a nerd.
My mother saw, I told her, she laughed and said that was enough, but it secretly wasn't.
I still want more books and I will continue to get more books and there is nothing she can do about it because what will she do? Get mad at me for wanting to read?
I don't think so.
For the time that I have where I don't have to pay rent, utilities, bills etc, I will buy as many books as I want with no embarrassment and also because I can and actually have the time to do so. Also I just found out that the Barnes & Nobles in my hometown is closing on January 2016 and so as a challenge, I will buy as many books there as possible. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

Pre-adult lesson #2
Everyone around me I know is getting engaged: A memoir of the single lonely life 
By Estibaliz Romeo
The title says it all. Everyone I know is getting engaged, married, and/or pregnant. It's a cycle that never ends and will always continue until I'm old and no one around me is getting engaged, married or pregnant unless a miracle baby happens or someone decides to re-married.
Anyway it won't be as common as it is now. It started sophomore year of college when I saw all the "surprise engagements", "pregnancy miracles" and upcoming photos of weddings and cake testings.
Everyone was getting engaged, married, and/or pregnant and I was sitting on my couch eating a sandwich.*
*It has been known to my friends that when I eat a sandwich, someone we know or someone they know has gotten engaged or married. It's a curse that will haunt me forever and until I get engaged and in this case, I will have had eaten a sandwich on that day or be proposed to with a sandwich (<-- if this is the case, then the sandwich better be damn good...oh and the ring too).
No matter the sandwich or what I'm eating, someone is getting engaged/married sometime and I will still be single and semi-ready to mingle, with a sandwich in hand, watching Netflix, on my bed, in my home. That's how I'll mingle.
Some people accomplish commitment by the time they are 22, what have I done since being 22? Waited three weeks to finally eat a doughnut, I think I'm doing pretty good so far.
I've been told that as I get older it will get worse and worse, so to prevent that, I will be eating less and less sandwiches or foods that come close to sandwiches (hamburgers, wraps, etc) so that people around me will not get engaged/married/ pregnant, unless they are my closest closest closest friends or until I get engaged, but my future husband will have to go through many obstacles in order to get there.

Pre-adult lesson #3
Since graduating college, social media has become less and less appealing, minus Instagram and Twitter but only because I use them to follow famous people and news. NEWS. Like I follow The New York Times, ABC, Huffington Post and close friends on Twitter and that's it.
I even downloaded the CNN app and let the notifications pop up despite wasting my battery, I now care more about what is going on in government then my own phone battery.
And as for everything else, I pretty much scroll through people's lives and like the photos of my friends and relatives.
Going back to lesson #2, everyone getting engaged/married/pregnant is blowing up my news feed and semi-ruining sandwiches for me (key word "semi" nothing will ever ruin sandwiches for me). I just go on Facebook to go on and then just leave it there on a tab but never do anything, it just sits there as I watch Netflix and look up recipes.
As of five minutes ago, I deleted by Facebook and Facebook messenger app on my iPhone because I realized I only use it when I'm waiting or bored, which is against its purpose of being "social" on a "social media" site. If I was 18 years old, fresh in college and someone would tell me that when I graduated, I would delete my Facebook app and get bored of it, I would be like "Nah! You're weird"
Actually, I think someone did tell me that, but then I ignored them thinking they were weird.
Oops.

Pre-adult lesson #4
Wearing jeans only on Fridays is not as hard as you think.
During college, leggings, MC hammer pants and jeans were the basis of my bottom wear, also sometimes sweats during that one time I had a 7:30 a.m. class freshman year of college. I could wear anything I wanted on my legs to cover them and not have to worry whether or not I was following the dress code. It felt rebellious to do so after having 13 years of being told what to wear and given uniforms with strict guidelines. I felt freedom wearing leggings and not having to run away from the deans. Skirts could be worn above the knee and I could show my shoulders. MY SHOULDERS.
Yes, my catholic school days did not allow us to show our shoulders even during the hot days...something about being inappropriate or giving off a sexual vibe to the boys across the street or something. I don't know. Whatever the reason may be, I could wear strapless dresses and not care. Also, no boys drooled over my shoulders, figuratively or literally, so there.
But now with a job where I am the first one that is seen, my bottom wear is limited and showing my shoulders isn't a thing, not for inappropriate reasons, but for professional reasons. When my mother informed me that it is good practice to wear jeans on Fridays, I freaked out. What the hell am I supposed to wear on my bottoms? I didn't think I could do it but it worked. I'm able to mix and match my wardrobe with pants, leggings and maxi skirts and be okay. I get excited for Fridays because I can wear jeans and be semi-casual. It's kind of a thrill. I wear light scarves, apply red lipstick to my lips and put my hair in a tight not-sloppy bun and wa-lah! professionalism at it's best right there.
The only person who compliments me on my looks is my mother, however, as I work with all men and fashion taste/choice isn't their top priority and complimenting my looks would just be an awkward interaction, especially because my cousin is my boss.

Pre-adult lesson #5
10 p.m. has become my new bedtime and when staying up past that, I get exhausted and dream of my bed.
Instead of the late nights with Netflix until 2 a.m. and the regretting it the next day, I sleep at 10 p.m. to Netflix and I'm out and wake up not regretting it. My friend will agree. We were out in San Francisco and when we headed to BART at 10:30PM, most of us were ready to fall asleep, on BART, standing up with no shame.
10 p.m. is my new bedtime, and yes I realize I might be a grandma but I don't care, sleep is sleep and it's the most ignored and least utilized in a college student's life.

Pre-adult lesson #6
I know longer order frappacino's at Starbucks, it's all about the soy lattes and regular coffees. No more grande caramel frapp with whip or a Samoa frapp with extra coconut flakes. Nope. Just a grande soy latte or a coffee with room for soy milk. Simple, easy, and wwwwaaaaayyyyy less calories than a frapp.

Pre-adult lesson #7
Dairy isn't as digest-able as it used to be. I can't have dairy without a stomachache or worse. I literally only drink dairy when I have a "screw it" moment and push through it or TMI when I'm sick and need things to move inside. Lactose-free milk and soy milk are now my friends and cheese and ice cream are not....sadly.

Pre-adult lesson #8
No matter what you are doing, how fantastic you are or how on point your outfit is, people will not stop asking about your love-life. This is the biggest lesson of all. Seeing that this generation is becoming more independent, more people, I know and hang out with, are single, only few are in relationships. As for us single people, it means more wine and food for us. I swear, the next person to ask about my love-life and if I am ever going to get a boyfriend or tries to set me up, I'm going ask about their bowel movements. That'll get them.


Those are my pre-adult lesson words of wisdom I have thus far, if anything else comes up, I will share them. If you have any, please feel free to share.
Thank you and have a pleasant tomorrow.

male parental day

Father's Day. The day of dads, crazy ties, beer, bacon and everything unique about Dad.
Past years, Father's Day has always been about going out to dinner or staying in for dinner, eating Dad's favorite food and making him unique breakfast/desserts to celebrate.
Last Father's Day, I had returned from Sweden and hadn't celebrated my 21st in the United States, and the weekend I came back was the weekend of Father's Day, perfect planning right there on my part.
This year's Father's Day I graduated from college a month before, not so perfect planning and my sister and I took my dad our for dinner in the city- perfect planning. A lot of chorizo and other meats were involved along with churros and a major wine spill.
Also this bacon bread with bacon jam that I made the Sunday of.
Happy Father's Day


Bacon Cheese Bread
3 cups of flour
1 tablespoon of baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons of sugar
1 cup of shredded cheese (flavor of cheese to your liking)
4 slices of bacon-cooked and chopped
2 tablespoons of butter

Preheat oven to 400 and prepare the bacon.
Line a cookie sheet with aluminum foil and place bacon slices on it. Drizzle olive oil if desired or leave it plain (I left it plain).
Cook bacon for 7-12 minutes until cooked.
While bacon is cooking, combine flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar in a large bowl and whisk.
Once bacon is cooked, let cool and chop into pieces. Sprinkle into the mixture along with the cheese and butter and mix until all incorporated.
Pour into a loaf pan or mini-loaf pans. Bake at 50 minutes if using a 9x5 loaf pan or 20-25 minutes for mini loaf pans.

While bacon bread is baking and rising....


MAKE THE BACON JAM!
Backstory: I had discovered the invention of bacon jam when I was hungover after a night at the bars along with my sister and her boyfriend. They had taken me to a small San Francisco chain called Bacon, Bacon. My sister raved about this place when she discovered it one day and wanted to take me there before I ventured off to Sweden. The place, however, was closed due to a lawsuit the business was going through. The reason for the lawsuit, the business made a lot of bacon (hence the name Bacon, Bacon) and the smell of bacon would fill the neighborhood, heavenly yes?
Until few people complained about it. Why people would complain about the smell of bacon in their neighborhood? I don't know. I really don't know.
Luckily the business won and running well with two locations and a food truck.
And it was then, on that hungover day in July, I was introduced to bacon jam on my bacon breakfast sandwich. It was a magical experience. Tangy jam, with a little bit of sweetness to awake my mouth senses, mixed in with the greasiness of the egg and bacon and then the warmth of the bread.
It was the perfect hangover food and it still is the perfect hangover food.
I told myself, I had to make this bacon jam, IT HAD TO BE DONE!
But then I was assigned to work in a room with now kitchen and bacon jam had to be done in a kitchen, so I had to put it on hold.
Until Father's Day when it was the perfect time to do it.

BACON JAM
 5 slices of bacon- cooked and cut into pieces
1 teaspoon of minced garlic
1/2 yellow onion, chopped
2 tablespoons of brown sugar
1 dash of cayenne pepper
1/3 cup of sherry vinegar
1/3 cup of maple syrup
1 teaspoon of balsamic vinaigrette
1 teaspoon of olive oil

Cook bacon over the stove on medium- heat until fully cooked. Remove the bacon and let soak on paper towel or napkin.
Add in chopped onions to the bacon grease and cook until onions are brown and soft about 10 minutes. Add in the brown sugar and stir. Cook for 5 more minutes until onions are sticky and brown. Add in the garlic and cayenne pepper and mix well. Cook 5 more minutes until garlic is soft. Ad in sherry vinegar, maple syrup and mix, the the mixture to a boil and then reduce the heat to low and stir until mixture is thick to prevent burning.
Add in balsamic vinaigrette and olive oil until fully mixed in.
Taste test the jam, if it is to salty add in more maple syrup or brown sugar, you want the first taste to be tangy but not sour and the after taste to be sweet with a little bit of tang to it, but not a lot to make your face pucker.
Once the jam is thick and all ingredients are mixed well, transfer to a bowl and let cool in the fridge for an hour. Spread on bacon bread and enjoy the bacon, on bacon, on bacon, on bacon.

Bacon, bacon fo'facon, fee fi fo bacon

BACON!

enough all bready

I'm getting creative with my bread puns just like I'm getting creative with my bread recipes.
As weeks go by and my dad eats the bread I make him, the ideas start to wither away and I start to blank out. What will I make? What can I make? What else can you put in bread other that is edible and won't make the bread taste weird?
Every week I go through this, and every week somehow, I manage to make two different kinds of bread and make my father happy.
Like the below breads that I made within two weeks:
Lemon Poppyseed Bread
Apple Cinnamon Bread
Almond Walnut Bread

Lemon Poppyseed Bread
1 1/2 cups of flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon of lemon extract
2 1/2 tablespoons of poppy seeds
3/4 cup of butter at room temperature
3/4 cup of white sugar
3 eggs
1/4 cup milk

Preheat oven to 350F.
In a large bowl, mix flour, baking powder, salt, and poppy seeds.
In another bowl with a whisk or electric beater, beat butter until soft. Add the sugar and mix well. Add eggs one at a time beating well after each egg addition. Add in the vanilla extract and beat mixture again. As the mixer is going, add in the flour mixture, in small additions and the milk in small additions alternating from flour to milk until both ingredients run out. Mix all ingredients well until all combined.
Place in a loaf pan or mini-loaves.
Loaf pan bake for 50-60 minutes and for mini-loaves bake for 25-30.
Once set, let cool and eat (well..at least for my dad).

My mom said the placement of these loaves looked weird but it was the only way I could position them without making them look even more weird.
Also the bit off part on the bottom left bread is not from me, it got stuck to the pan....I swear.

Apple Cinnamon Bread

1/4 cup brown sugar

1 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

2/3 cup white sugar

1/2 cup butter,softened

2 eggs

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoons of baking powder

1/2 cup milk

1 large apple, peeled and chopped (Fuji or red as it has less flavor than a granny smith, but if you like tartness than granny smith will do)

Preheat oven to 350.

Begin peeling the apple and chopping into pieces. Place apple pieces into bowl. 

In a medium bowl, combine brown sugar, white sugar and butter and mix with a beater until smooth.

Add in eggs and vanilla and continue to beat until mixture is smooth.

Add flour, baking powder,and cinnamon and mix well.

Add in milk.

Mix in chopped apples and give it one last mix-in with a spatula.

Pour in prepared pan, and bake for 50 minutes if with 9x5 loaf pan or 20-25 minutes if with small loaf pans.

Almond Walnut Bread

1/4 cup brown sugar

2/3 cup white sugar

1/2 cup butter, softened

2 eggs

2 teaspoons of almond extract

1/2 teaspoons of baking powder

1/2 cup milk

1/2 cup of chopped walnuts

Preheat oven to 350.

Chop walnuts and leave in small bowl.

In medium bowl, mix both sugars and butter until smooth.

Add in eggs and almond extract and continue to beat until mixture is smooth.

Add flour, and baking powder and mix well.

Add in the milk.

Mix in chopped walnuts and give the mixture one last stir with a spatula.

Pour in prepared pan, and bake for 50 minutes if you have a regular loaf pan or 20-25 minutes with a small loaf pan.

The cakes are monstrous, like the Elephant banana bread, I know. I swear I don't put steroids in my bread to make them rise like this, I really don't. All my breads are made steroid-free.

squares and shapes

My bread-less and sugar-less days are over, but the weirdest thing happened. I don't crave bread or sugar and my body is so used to it that when I look at bread, I think "eh it looks good, but I'm going to get a salad instead"
WHAT HAVE I BECOME?
Either it's the initiation of being 22 or the detox actually worked.
Bread doesn't consume me and I don't consume it. And all the sugary stuff I couldn't eat....well I haven't had a doughnut, not even a sliver of one.
Not even a sliver of the bread and mini-cakes that I made. One bread being from a Paula Deen recipe that required no butter but a pack ton of sugar (Yes you read that right, no butter, but two cups of sugar) and the other was from a cookbook named "The Cake Bible" and yes, you read that right.

Paula Deen's No-butter but packed-ton sugar chocolate bread
2 1/4 cups of all-purpose flour
2 cups sugar
3/4 cups cocoa powder
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups of milk
1 cup vegetable oil
3 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups of semi-sweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 325F.
In a large bowl, combine flour, sugar, cocoa, baking powder and salt. Beat in milk, oil, eggs and vanilla with electric mixer at low speed until all ingredients are combined.
Pour in batter evenly into sprayed loaf pans.
If using a 9x5 loaf pan, bake for 1 hour and 15 minutes.
If using mini-loaf pans, bake for 20-25 minutes.


Mini-Bundt White Almond Cake
1 box of white cake mix
1 1/3 cups of water
2 tablespoons of vegetable oil
3 large eggs
3 tsp. almond extract

Preheat oven to 350F.
Place cake mix, water, oil, eggs in a large bowl, and mix well with a beater, whisk or spatula. Add almond extract and mix well one last time.
Pour them equally into mini-bundt pans, cupcake tins or a loaf pan.
Bake for 30 minutes or longer if using a loaf pan or until cake is cooked.

Admire the shapes of the pastries, eat a tiny tiny tiny bite to test taste and wonder how you perfected shapes in baking but never perfected them in Geometry.

Ugh, if this was part of Geometry sophomore year of high school, I would get an easy A instead of struggling to write proofs or finding the diameter of a rhumbus. 

Day 8-10 of #datbreadlesslifedoe

I'm combining the last two days of my bread-less and sugar-less life because I haven't posted anything on my social media page and two, I GOT A PART-TIME JOB!
Ugh the relief.
Well, it's just a job until I find a big girl job, but it's a paid job in that I can actually use my savings account for saving up and not just a back-up for when I'm broke. It's a job where I practice wearing big-girl clothes and only wear jeans on Friday.
It's a job and I sit in a spinning chair and not my couch for eight hours.
The day I was supposed to start, I left my house early because one: the internet was out and two: I wanted to go to a hipster coffee shop near my work.
And a hipster coffee shop it was.
Located in downtown Martinez, this coffee-shop is known for its gluten-free friendly food, the legit-way-you're-suppose-to-brew-coffee coffee and a barista that has a strong resemblance of Aziz Ansari. Also cold brew coffee from tap, FROM TAP I SAY. Ugh it was amazing and I didn't have to lie about my name...well sort of.
When it comes to ordering drinks and baristas ask for my name, I usually give them my middle name, Gabriela, to avoid the awkward misspellings of my name and weird looks. Usually I get away with it, but not this barista, no.
I said my "name" and handed him my debit card and upon waiting for approval, he glanced at it and asked and then pronounced it beautifully with a questioned look of "Why did you give me a different name?"
Because my name is Estibaliz and as far as I know, now one in California has this name nor can pronounce on the first time so there.
He smiled, I told him I was Spanish, he gave me my cold brew on tap with soy milk and the Aziz Ansari look-alike disappeared into the backroom.
I sat down on a rectangular table next to a mirror where I weirdly frequently checked my lipstick to make sure it was not on my teeth or smeared on my face. I applied to a few jobs, drank my cold brew with soy milk and enjoyed a gluten-free sandwich with spinach, egg, tomato and pesto with blackberries on the side.

Name: Barrelista

Location: Martinez, CA

Total Cost: $8.90

Day #9

National Doughnut Day and the food that I have been avoiding at all cost throughout this ten-day detox. Ugh, it had to fall the day before the last day of this detox. Fortunately, my boss let me out an hour early which gave perfect timing to run to Krispy Kreme to get free doughnuts. 

Nope- the line was incredibly long, both drive thru and store line. The next venture was small doughnut shops, which to my embarrassment, and I found this out when I didn't look on Yelp to see if it was open and walked up to a closed shop.

Frustrated, hot and just wanting a damn doughnut, I drove to the nearest Safeway and grabbed the very last two doughnuts on the shelves for a dollar and gave them to my parents.

Daughter of the year (Sorry Ivonne) and Detox Survivor of the year.

Also, it was Friday and on Fridays you do what you want with food which is why I treated myself to a light beer and burger. Don't judge, it's Friday.

Name: E. J Phair's Brewing Company

Location: Concord, CA
Item of Choice: Pilsner with a Burger of bacon, sauteed onions, cheese, pepper aioli with side of fries
Total Cost: I don' know, my parents paid for it.


Day 10/Not really
Technically my day ended on Day 9 when I stuffed my face with a hamburger and beer, but I still had the morning shake the next day because I wanted to keep telling myself I could do it. It was the day before my birthday and I deserved to eat a bread and sugar because it was my birthday weekend.
Did I mention it my birthday was coming up?

Day #1 of #datbreadylifedoe (<-- I changed the hashtag, everything is back to normal)
Brunch at a farm-to-table place in downtown Walnut Creek. It was just as good as the other farm-to-table place back in Santa Rosa. Ugh, delicious fresh goodness and an eggs benedict that had me stuffed with happiness.

Name: Main Street Kitchen

Location: Walnut Creek, CA

Order: Eggs Benedict with ham on rye toast with coffee and soy milk

Cost: Around $18- I don't remember the exact price, but the cost doesn't matter when food is this good.

Like it was really good. Like my mom and I were tempted to stay for lunch and dinner because the place was that good.

Day #10

The last day. The day that ends it all and proof that I can last a day without eating a doughnut, as seen on National Doughnut Day post. 

I did it.

I didn't think I could do it, especially after I cheated that one weekend, but I did it. I can survive without eating bread or sugar.

I am a survivor like Destiny's Child/Beyonce and I was a year older.

I feel like I can conquer anything now.

Well...not everything but you can't my point.

My birthday came and went. I ate my way through a rack of lamb, a chiztora sandwich, Sift cupcakes and lots and lots of wine/coke and was happy as can be.

Feeling 22 as in I can eat bread and sugar and have a "normal 22-year-old life" like Zayn from One Direction.

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Day 7 of #datbreadlesslifedoe

It's been one week, and I'm surviving. Like Destiny's Child surviving. The bread cravings go away and so do the sugar cravings. I don't pretend that my morning shake is a doughnut and I don't secretly wish that my salad is covered in chocolate.
All in all, everything is okay.
Except for lunchtime.
The original detox states that for lunch a hearty salad is recommended and as a lover of spinach salad it was no big deal, until after day two when I was done eating a salad and just a salad. I couldn't survive eating just salad for lunch for the ten days because knowing me, I would get sick of it and then take a while for me to come back to salad and I didn't want to risk that. I thought I would be creative with my lunch specials and I definitely did but it's mostly something stuffed int something else. Egg stuffed in an avocado, egg stuffed in a bell pepper and stuffed tomato. It was all just a bunch of stuff. Just like this lunch that was stuffed with stuff.

Stuffed Apple with Mixed Greens
1 apple (fuji or granny smith- I had granny smith because I like the tartness mixed with the stuff, but whatever your stuffed heart desires)
1/4 sausage-chopped
Honey
Walnuts-chopped

Preheat oven to 400F.
Take apple and cut off the top part and cut out the insides of the apple, leaving 1/2 inch on the bottom.
Take sausage and chop into pieces and place in small bowl. Drizzle honey and chopped walnuts on top.
Place apple in the center of a cookie sheet for 10-15 minutes or until sausage is fully cooked.
Once cooled, place on a bed of mixed greens.
Eat and enjoy the sweet, savory crunch of a savory apple pie.

Five hours later.....

Dinnertime, the most easiest meal to eat throughout this whole process, but yet so difficult during the summer.

Summertime consists of outdoor BBQ, lemonade made from fresh lemons or powder, iced (soy) lattes, flip-flops and a permanent sock tan after wearing shoes for ONE DAY and hamburgers. Lots and lots of hamburgers. A cold beer and a hamburger. Ugh. I always say if I had one meal on earth it would be a big juicy hamburger and a large cold IPA. One of the main things I asked for after I returned from Sweden and finally being legal was a beer and a burger from the local brewery in my hometown. 

But with the detox of no bread and sugar, hamburgers were extinct in my family's menu, until my mom and I discovered portobello mushroom burgers and all our hamburger worries disappeared. 

Portobello Mushroom Burgers

4 large portobello mushroom caps

2 burger patties

Olive Oil

Salt

Pepper

2 eggs

Mixed greens

Preheat oven to 375F.

Cover baking sheet with aluminum foil. 

Take portobello mushroom caps and cut off the stems and rub to make sure caps are clean. Place mushroom caps on baking sheet and drizzle olive oil, salt and pepper on each side well. Place in oven for 10 minutes or until mushroom caps are a dark dark brown.

While in oven, cook the burger patties to your liking (medium rare, medium, rare, well done etc). Fry two eggs until well cooked. 

Once mushroom caps are cooked, burgers are set and egg is fried, place caps on a plate, and layer burger patty, egg and then mixed greens and carefully sandwich the two caps together (Note: mushrooms caps will be hot if not cooled for more than five minutes). 

Eat with knife and fork like they do in Europe or eat with hands like they do in America, whatever your international lifestyle is.

Day 6 of #datbreadlesslifedoe

Okay, I cheated, like real bad, like worse than when I cheated in my basic kitchen and made cookies with a cookie maker bad. But it wasn't my intention to cheat, I had to cheat. I know that sounds like an excuse and all cheaters say that but this was for real.
I had to cheat.
Stop judging me okay? I'm not a failure, I'm not weak, I am a survivor like Beyonce . My momma did tell me better than that.
Besides, even Beyonce would have cheated on this thing and I don't think you would be judging her.
But before I try to defend Beyonce let me explain:
This past weekend I volunteered to help my great-aunt take care of her two grandkids under the age of two over in Dixon. Being that my mom and I were going to spend the night at her place, we didn't want be a burden and state "Sorry we gave up bread and sugar so for dinner and lunch can you make something that's NOT bread and sugar" and then have my great-aunt freak out over what to make that doesn't have an ounce of bread or sugar.
Also we were going to go to Fenton's, the notable ice cream shop as featured in Up, and trying to find a bread-free or sugar-free item at Fenton's and not be a picky-pain-in-the-butt for the waitress was really hard.
I didn't want to be a burden and I didn't want to be a picky-pain-in-the-butt for anybody so I decided to cheat.
Still judging?
Whatever, my mom said it was okay so when she's says something is okay, then it's okay.
I did have my smoothie in the morning which was fine then for lunch a Hawaiian burger in which I ate half of the hamburger bun and half of a cup of melon that my great-aunt didn't want.
Of course it wasn't until after I ate the sandwich that the waitress told me I could have done a gluten-free option instead of wasting half of a bun. Of course...
For dessert was a Coffee Cookies n Cream ice cream. Now don't say you can't say no to that. Coffee and Oreo's mixed together in a milky-creamy-causing-me-a-stomachache-later-on-goodness is just so tempting and was so worth the mild stomachache.
And it was the last time until my birthday I would have a sugary-goodness, I swore.

The moment Monday hit, I went back to my morning smoothie and made this lunch below that tasted like a pizza. LIKE REALLY TASTED LIKE A PIZZA.

Stuffed Tomato with Mixed Greens
1 tomato
1/4 of a sausage chopped
shredded cheese
garlic
Olive oil
Mixed greens

Preheat oven to 400F.
Take the tomato and slice off the top part. Cut the middle part of the tomato and take out the insides but leave a 1/2 inch on the bottom of the tomato. Take sausage and cut them into pieces and mix with chopped garlic cloves. Place sausage and garlic cloves in the tomato and sprinkle with cheese. Place in the oven for 20 minutes or until sausage is cooked and tomato is set. Place on a bed of mixed greens and drizzle olive oil over it. Let cool for 5-10 minutes and eat with your hands and taste the flavor of the pizza.

Ugh, it is possible to have pizza with no bread, it is! There really really is! 

Also I made two types of bread for my father, of course the one who gives up bread makes the bread.

Ugh, the temptation.

Chocolate Chip Zucchini Bread

2 eggs

1/3 cup honey

1/2 cup vegetable oil

1/2 cup brown sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1 2/3 cup of flour

2 cups of shredded, unpeeled zucchini

1 cup of semi-sweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 and lightly spray loaf pan or small loaf pans.

Shred the zucchini in a small bowl and set aside.

In a large bowl, mix eggs, honey, vegetable oil, sugar and vanilla. with beater.

Add salt, baking soda, baking powder and flour until well incorporated.

Stir in zucchini and chocolate chips and mix all ingredients well for one last time.

Pour into prepared pan.

If using a loaf pan bake for 50 minutes, if using a mini-loaf pans bake for 25-30 minutes.

Lemon Raspberry Bread

2 eggs

1/3 cup honey

1/2 cup vegetable oil

1/2 cup brown sugar

1 1/2 teaspoon of lemon extract

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1 2/3 cup of flour

1 cup of raspberries

Preheat oven to 350 and lightly spray loaf pans

In a large bowl, mix eggs, honey, vegetable oil, sugar and lemon extract with beater.

Add salt, baking soda, baking powder and flour until well incorporated.

Stir in raspberries.

Pour into prepared pan.

Bake for 50 minutes if using one loaf pan or 25-30 minutes if using mini-loaf pans.

Day 5 of #datbreadlesslifedoe

Day five and I'm going strong....sort of. On the outside, I look like I'm a strong capable 21-year-old that can live without bread and sugar, on the inside, I'm dying inside. Everything I see around me consists of some sort of bread and packed with a lot of sugar.
Ugh, America.
It didn't help that on Friday morning I went grocery shopping for my mom at 8 a.m either. The shopping part was easy, knowing exactly what my mom gets and staying under budget. What didn't help was that at 9 a.m. the entire Safeway started to smell like doughnuts.
Like chocolate glazed doughnuts.
Ugh, torture, just pure torture. I had only had a cup of coffee as I had to take my mom to work so the thought of a delicious chocolate doughnut just had me drooling.
Day five became difficult, I wanted to cave, I wanted a doughnut.
Ugh, you're killing me Safeway.

But I overcame the doughnut craving and busted out of that Safeway as fast as I could and made my usual morning smoothie with a banana.

Morning Smoothie Bowl
1/2 cup of water or 3/4 cup depending on how thick you like it
1/2 cup of cranberries
1/2 cup of blueberries
1/2 cup of almond milk
1 tbs of hemp seeds
1 tbs of pumpkin seeds
1 tbs of chia seeds
1 quarter of avocado
1 tbs of almond butter
1 tbs of coconut butter

Put all ingredients in a blender and blend until all ingredients are incorporated together.
Pour into tall glass or bowl and top with bananas.

Survived the doughnut smell and craving and treated myself to this smoothie bowl and watching They  Came Together with Amy Poehler and Paul Rudd, which if you have seen Parks & Recreation or any Paul Rudd movies, then you will understand this movie, if not then it will confuse you and think it's the weirdest movie ever.

It's not, it's amazing and hilarious and I love Poehler and Rudd both. 

It was even better when I mastered lunch to perfection and completely forgot about the doughnut smell.

Egg in Pepper with Bacon wrapped Avocado (<-- yes you read that right)

1/2 hass avocado-sliced

3 slices of bacon- cut in half

1 egg

1 slice of bell pepper

mixed greens

Preheat oven to 425F and cover a cookie sheet with aluminum foil. Slice the avocado and place on cookie sheet rack. Take the bacon (uncooked) and cut in half and wrap the slices around the avocado. Drizzle olive oil and pepper onto the avocado slices and stick in the oven for 12-15 minutes or until bacon is cooked.

Preheat stove to medium-high heat and drizzle pan with olive oil.

Meanwhile take a bell pepper and cut horizontally, take out the inside of the pepper and cut one slice. Place bell pepper on stove and crack the egg onto the stove, some egg white may spill out but just separate from the pepper.

Cook until egg is fully cooked (the bottom is a crispy brown and the egg white is not runny).

On a plate, place mixed greens and carefully lay the egg-in-pepper on top and take bacon wrapped avocado and place around the egg.

Eat, savor the avocado bacon goodness and enjoy a savory lunch and completely forget about the doughnut from that morning.

Despite forgetting the doughnut, I had to bake scones for a family member who my mom and I were visiting and help babysit.

They were gluten free and semi-vegan, and by semi-vegan I mean that the only vegan ingredient that was in the scones was vegan butter.

I try and give as much credit as I can.

Gluten Free (Semi-Vegan) Raspberry Scones

2 cups of gluten free flour

1/3 cup of sugar

2 teaspoons of baking powder

1/2 teaspoon of salt

1/2 cup of vegan butter

3/4 cup of whipping cream

Preheat oven to 400F.

Combine flour, sugar, baking powder and salt in a large bowl. Cut butter and mix with flour mixture until it looks like coarse crumbs. Stir in the whipping cream and mix until dough holds together. Stir in the raspberries.

Lightly flour a flat surface and place dough on it and knead the dough 5-7 times until it is smooth. Divide the dough into four pieces and cut into triangular pieces and place on a sprayed cookie sheet.

Bake for 9-11 minutes.

Scones are not pictured as they didn't rise like normal looking scones....okay I forgot, but the not rising part was true.

Dinner:

Friday night and with the lack of motivation to cook and with my mom being out in the city with her friends, my dad and I went to BJ's in Concord to have dinner together. 

Now on the way there I looked up their menu to see if they had any gluten-free items or I would be entirely screwed if they didn't. Also googling "BJs" is the most awkward thing ever, I had to google "BJs menu" in order to save my eyes from any graphic or phallic images. 

I was safe. 

Luckily, BJ's did have a gluten free menu and I was able to order a pizza with gluten free crust. Ugh, I missed you pizza. 

I also kind-of-sort-of-unintentionally- cheated at dessert, but let's be real, I didn't want to pull another Cheesecake Factory and go to BJs and not get a pazookie. Like you just don't do that and they even had a gluten free pazookie...so yeah, whatever don't judge me. Besides I didn't eat any ice cream, my dad ate it all and I picked at the cookie where there was no ice cream, and the cookie was small so technically I had like four bites of a cookie, so it wasn't entirely that bad. 

Don't judge me.

Day 4 of #datbreadlesslifedoe

The end of the dreaded third day and I was proud to be that person who wasn't affected by it. Unfortunately, I wasn't that successful. Day 4 was the dreaded day for me. I was fine in my morning with my typical morning smoothie and daily watch of The Food Network channel. I had my cup of coffee per usual and was fine...until 1 p.m.
Sitting on my kitchen table watching Netflix and drinking water, I felt it. I had a pounding headache on the side of my head and felt like I wanted to take a nap, right there on my kitchen floor. I thought the headache came from dehydration so I drank five bottles worth of my Camelback water bottle, but nothing. I then took some IB profin and sat down for a couple of hours but the desire to take a nap never went away. Thinking that it was hunger, I had apples and almond butter as a snack, but nothing.
I still wanted to take a nap on the kitchen floor at 4 p.m.
Ugh, it was horrible and I ended up not going to the gym that day as I felt I was going to sleep on the elliptical, which as I picture it, would be very uncomfortable to do.

But here's my lunch from that day.

Egg in Avocado
2 hass avocados
2 eggs
1 bacon strip-chopped into pieces
Pepper

I've made this before in the past, but failed epically when egg spilled all over the cookie sheet, so I was determined to get it right and perfect this time, one because it's a waste of food and two it was the last avocado and eggs in the kitchen so I couldn't re-do them.
I succeeded and here's why:

Preheat oven to 350F.
Cut avocado in half and with a knife cut out a big enough hole to fit an egg in, but don't cut out all of the avocado as you want some avocado inside- so leave a 1/2 inch border around.
Crack egg into avocado shell, if some egg white spills out, let it spill around and just clean around the avocado. Sprinkle chopped bacon and pepper on egg. Carefully place avocado on cookie sheet at the corner of the cookie sheet so that the avocado, with the tip at the corner of the cookie sheet so the avocado stays well.
Bake for 15 minutes or until egg is cooked. Eat with a spoon and enjoy, hopefully with no desire to take a nap at 4 p.m.

Day 3 of #datbreadlesslifedoe

The third day, the day that my mother and sister warned me about. The day that this detox would hit and that I would feel like the wind was knocked out of me. That I would be shaking uncontrollably and my stomach would feel horrible.
The dreaded third day. I mentally prepared myself for this day. I told myself that it was okay to not apply for jobs that day and that it was appropriate to spend the day on the couch in a blanket watching a marathon of Chopped and be happy that I wasn't cooking dragon fruit with frog legs for 20 minutes and that I was at peace on my couch.
That third day.


Turns out that the third day wasn't all that bad for me. I woke up with no headache, my stomach wasn't grumbling, I didn't feel like crap and I applied for four jobs that day and didn't spend the whole day on my couch. I had my morning smoothie as usual and was fine. And I even had the energy to make the omelette below for lunch.
I am a survivor of the bread-less, sugar-less detox.

Lunch Omelette
3 eggs
1/2 avocado- sliced
1/2 tomato-chopped
2 slices of bacon-chopped
Olive oil
salt
pepper


Preheat oven to 400 and cover a cookie sheet with aluminum foil. Place bacon slices on aluminum foil and drizzle with olive oil. Leave in oven for 7-10 minutes. Meanwhile, take eggs and whisk them with a fork until egg mix seems fluffy.
Turn on stove on medium to high heat and drizzle with olive oil.
Chop tomato and avocado and mix with egg mixture. Sprinkle salt and pepper if desired and pour into pan. Cook until bottom of omelette is cooked and with spatula, flip over omelette to the other side or if frustrated just flip as best you can and cook until eggs are fully cook.
Place on plate, and add chopped bacon.

It was delicious and I did not pretend it was chocolate or a sandwich.